To be honest, I didnt like it. The way you not only developed the characters but the entire story was, well... bad.

You should start off with one solid short story then just work on that. Try not to get to carried away with length, you seemed to be making random chapters for the sake of quantaty. And the character development... how anybody could stand watching there freinds being mutalated and then go about living there life as normall is unbelievable. You should try and make the 'wiredness' more "twilightzoney". Like have a decent semi-logical explaination/story line and have decent twists that dont relie on "James Bond style luck" to resolve eg. Dont resolve conflicts like this = "and then a meteor crashed into the ship killing the bad guy" or somthing.

Any way... yeah.

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