Life is good. Or is it? - PSP3D.com - Sony PlayStation Portable News, Homebrew, Hacks, Reviews, Videos, Mods, Forums

Robert A. · #1 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 06:06 PM

Anti-drug people beware. I'm about to post something that's outright illegal and not recommended for you to do.

I'm a heavy drug user. Have been since high school, still am. I take Adderall 60 MG every morning (snorted), goto sleep with 3 pills of 15 MG Ambien (snorted). That's how I wake up and goto sleep.

I used to love weed. Now, I stopped smoking. For job reasons, not getting class work done, etc.

Instead, I snort about 3Gs of cocaine everyday now, a nearly a $100 a day habit. I basically make bulk buys in the amount of 50-100 Gs, 85% Columbian pure coca ($2-3K). I sell half of my purchases and get a 2-3x return on my money.

I also take painkillers (Oxycotin, Hydrocodone, Percocet, Codeine, Vicodin) on a daily basis. I feel like a junkie sometimes, but life has been good.

I've been to rehab for cocaine 3 times. I haven't learned shit at them, I just goto them to make society happy.

I've been busted for possession a few times. Nearly got in trouble with Feds a while ago (ask FreePlay if you don't believe me), but have since gone under the radar. Pulled out of jail, done community service, blah, blah.

I still maintain straight As at UVA. Drugs have been the reason for my success in school, in making money, and enjoying life in general.

I stopped drinking alcohol after I totalled a new M3 last year, and made some poor decisions in life.

I got addicted to painkillers after I got my wisdom teeth removed. A week without them gives me a terrible crash.

Case in point, my life has been golden since I've pushed and used drugs. Alcohol and weed ruined me life. I never got anything done when under the influence of both.

Recently, I've debating my use of drugs. I'm destroying my body, and I know it. I workout a crapload everyday, but I lack in sleep. I've been awake for 96 hours at a time sometimes. Not good for you. I've been trying to stop using, but I can't. Rehab is worthless, most my girlfriends tend to also do some sort of drugs/drink, and I'm in too deep.

Nobody thinks I use anymore. I've gone completely under the radar, and even at parties, I'm never the one offering goods.

I'm making this post because I want your suggestions. Would you rather live a wonderful life, but die 20 years younger, or live a halfass life, and live for your full potential?

It's tough for me, and I don't know what to do.

jsf · #2 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 06:13 PM

Yeah that's Admin zzaz3.

Damn i thought my life was bad because of me getting heartbroken by the girl I loved but I guess there are people who have it worse than me. Anyway I say quit the drugs they aren't worth it. I never did any drugs and I'm fine.

Robert A. · #3 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zzaz3

I live a great life without drugs, you dont wanna endup like britney spears do ya? Oh, and are you Admin? I remember his name was robert.

Yes, I'm "admin". Unlike Britney Spears, I don't act out of control, and I don't do anything weird. I live a normal life.

I got into more serious drugs when life was bad. Family members died, friends died, money was hard to come across (since I pay for my tuition myself), and my uncle was/is a serious user as well. Figured what the hell.

But now I have money. I have lots of friends and connections. I enjoy every minute of my life. Simply driving around town with my girl in the car gives me pleasure. The simplest things make me happy, and the hardest of troubles become simple.

Don't know what to do...

EDIT: And religion has done me no good. Been there, done that, haven't found any material benefits. I'm Christian in name, but I don't practice. When your in deep, it's hard to pull out. I just wanted to know if anyone else is in my situation.

Robert A. · #4 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 06:38 PM

Well a lot of things have changed me.

My other uncle, who was single and lived in New York City, was an auditer. He was young, around 45, and recently died.

He died on August 11th, 2001, from liver and lung cancer. He caught on too late, one day he realized he was feeling terrible, his body seemed to be malfunctioning. Extreme aches, couldn't even stand. He was rushed to the hospital. They diagnosed him, and it was too late. He was to die within the week. I, being very close to him (talked to him daily, we were joint stock investors), rushed to NY.

He had no other family members that could come.

He was a crazy clubber for his age. Some would say he had middle age crisis, but he had money in the bank, and he was single, and never got married. He once told me getting married is a waste of your time, all relationships come to an end.

Anyways, he got cancer from drinking too much, having a terrible diet, smoking too much, etc.

I was at his bedside on August 8th, holding his hand, at midnight, when he went into coma. Died 3 days later.

Ironically, he worked at the WTC. Never missed a day or work, was at the 77th floor in north tower. I had to help clean up his personal items after he died, sell his amazing apartment, and his car. I missed him, he was my only really close relative who I talked to daily.

Exactly a month later, 9/11, is when the twin towers were attacked. He would have been dead. I would not have had the chance to have his body, and I would have not been able to hold his hand while his smile faded and he lost consciousness. Basically, he was screwed either way he lived his life. He could have been completely straitlaced, and died just a month later. Yet he enjoyed every minute.

Life is so fragile.

I'm not an emo or anything like that. I value my life incredibly. But when stuff like this happens, it makes you question how to run your life.

Michael M. · #5 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 07:20 PM

zzaz3: Cocaine, oxycontin, etc. ... They're definitely illegal. At least, most of them are without a prescription.

Good to see you're still alive, Robert. Haven't heard anything from your way in a while.

My advice? Get off the drugs. You can live life to the fullest without them. Try taking up extreme sports or something. You can get a natural high from adrenaline and other hormones, anyways

As for enjoying every minute of your life, are you really enjoying yourself when you're on drugs? You talk about all the money you waste, how you're losing sleep - stuff like that doesn't sound like enjoyment to me. And if the only girlfriends you get are drug-users, wouldn't you rather be scraping from a little higher up in the barrel?

We want you to be around for years to come, bro. Please, get yourself clean!

Robert A. · #6 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael M.

zzaz3: Cocaine, oxycontin, etc. ... They're definitely illegal. At least, most of them are without a prescription.

Good to see you're still alive, Robert. Haven't heard anything from your way in a while.

My advice? Get off the drugs. You can live life to the fullest without them. Try taking up extreme sports or something. You can get a natural high from adrenaline and other hormones, anyways

We want you to be around for years to come, bro. Please, get yourself clean!

I tried street and track racing for a few months with the Cayenne Turbo S, but I've had way too many near-death experiences. Lets just say you get an OD of adrenaline when some dumbass turns into the middle of a two lane, dotted lined straightaway road, and has extremely bad depth perception, and both lanes are taken up by us dragging, and the retard stops her car in the middle of the road because she's scared.

I nearly flipped my car and crashed into a tree at 140 MPH because I had to do a sudden swerve and my ABS was tarding out. I was lucky, to say the least. The left side of the truck (both tires) were at least a foot in the air when I swerved back on the road.

EDIT: Most girls I know I introduce to my shit. Rofl. And no, they're not hardcore users. And the issue is even with my habits, I'm still making a huge profit from selling, and enjoying. A large chunk of my spending money (unpapertrailed) comes from selling nowadays... so now I'm mentally and economically addicted. LOL!

scoder · #7 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 07:44 PM

ive posted it on these forums before, but i used to be addicted to percs. i used to drink and smoke pot like crazy, now i stopped drinking and i smoke pot once in a while.

Robert, if u decide to quit, ur gunna go through hell for at least a week, and then for months after u will get sudden cravings for the shit. if u have the willpower to stop, i'd say do it and only do shit like that occasionally (i still snort percs once every few months) but just monitor it and dont let it get out of control.
if u think ur too weak to do it, either go into rehab willing to quit and recieve the help given, or just dont bother quitting at all. if u dont have the willpower to quit, theres no use trying cuz ur just gunna make yourself feel like shit for a few days before u realize u cant live without your drugs and take them again. i recommend getting help at a rehab and stopping. good luck.

Robert A. · #8 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scoder

ive posted it on these forums before, but i used to be addicted to percs. i used to drink and smoke pot like crazy, now i stopped drinking and i smoke pot once in a while.

Robert, if u decide to quit, ur gunna go through hell for at least a week, and then for months after u will get sudden cravings for the shit. if u have the willpower to stop, i'd say do it and only do shit like that occasionally (i still snort percs once every few months) but just monitor it and dont let it get out of control.
if u think ur too weak to do it, either go into rehab willing to quit and recieve the help given, or just dont bother quitting at all. if u dont have the willpower to quit, theres no use trying cuz ur just gunna make yourself feel like shit for a few days before u realize u cant live without your drugs and take them again. i recommend getting help at a rehab and stopping. good luck.

Thanks for the suggestion Scoder, but I've gone to rehab a few times and it hasn't done anything, besides throw off my busy schedule.

I've gone cold turkey for months at a time in the past, I've never really had any physical addiction (contrary to what people say about snow, pks), but it's just the fact that I excel in every aspect of life when I am on them. For example, during my stays at rehab, obviously I had no access, yet unlike others, I never really felt the need to have any either, since I wasn't doing anything productive.

Thanks for all the comments so far: this is some good material for me to think about!

SpongeFreak52 · #9 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 08:36 PM

Well, you've only got one life to live, so you should live it to your fullest potential. Like Scoder said, it may not be easy, but if you can get yourself into that habit, who says you can't get yourself out?

dq9 · #10 (**permalink**) 03-08-2007, 08:36 PM

I used to smoke when I was a freshman in high school, but I quit because one morning I woke up and I couldn't breathe and finally when I was able, I coughed up blood for half an hour. When I quit, it was the hardest thing I have ever done. All I can say if find a new addiction. Like every time I wanted a smoke, I put in a piece of gum. Now I am always chewing gum and I can breathe, for the most part. Good luck Robert A! I'm rooting for you!