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SCREAM! The word fails me. I need the pain to burn into the eyes of the beholden. DEATH! Surly it has lost it's power. Why have my tools dulled, my words failed when they worked so long ago with such an edge as to make one cry? ANGER! RAGE! SADNESS! Is there no larger word, no blood red dagger with which I can expand my tears? It fails me.

Age has taken my limbs that I once stood tall upon. These things were so clear before I cared for others, before I thought and could scream in joy at my sadness with no tears at my shame. To be able to express sadness without punishment, to tear my eyes and scream, SCREAM, WHY CAN I NOT?

Age is unneeded, unwanted, useless. Time passes on regardless of acknowledgment, it burns but the PAIN, WHY! No one can hear me, you can not see me, you see what you thought was here instead. Death is no escape, and lairs be those who tell you falsehoods. There is no exit, neither here nor after it all ends, no escape truly exists.

DEATH! PAIN! SADNESS! None of it escapes, none find piece nor spirit that cradles the weary. All that exists is flawed and clings to itself in its grief, in that the binding of death can create a unity that the binding of sadness can not, yet it is false!

Death is not the end, not the end we crave for. God stands beyond that door waiting to grin, knowing you are on the other side crying for an escape that does not exist. He loves you completely, and yet refuses to allow your death. Can one truly be loved if the Creator refuses Death?

We can out grow this, become stronger, become more than we are and stronger than we were, but he still stands behind that door, that window, and laughs at your growth. He? She? The all knowing being that smiles as the door is opened and closed, who watches us wander between death and life endlessly walking forward in circles.

Death is no answer, and life causes pain. The crying never ends, the tears are hollow and filled with such sadness as to make the strong cringe. DEATH! It has failed me.

PAIN! Why do you not sting, my distraction not come here now as I need your bite? My eyes are open but your mouth is silent, you need words to grow into an experience. PAIN! PAIN! The word is flawed! This is not what I feel, how can such a small word mean so little to a broken soul? PAIN! It has failed me.

SCREAM! LOUDER! SADNESS! My lungs are not large to sing the core darkness out of my body, nor my tongue strong enough to lift my sorrow. HELP! No one answers, He is on the other side of the door, open armed, loving, a lier of faith whom grins so happily with tears in His eyes. HELP! Give me air to cry with, a mouth to sob, an eye to see what I can not say, a window in a soul that has been corrupted far too long. SADNESS! It has failed me.

SCREAM! Why can I not type my words or sing my soul, why does my fingers linger as my brain decays? Screaming has failed me, noise is gone.

ANGER! Rage, some core darkness that invades the soul when you feel that all is lost, gives hollow joy in times of pain, never helps, never cures. ANGER! No target, no outlet, the eating of my mind is slow and it feels so good. Anger never fails me the way that I do.

RESOLUTION! Meaningless. Move on, time is here, its gone, it is no more than dust. Back to work.

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